There's a million reasons why I should give you up, but the heart wants what it wants

2 years..

seems so unimportant and insignificant to you,

but it means so much to me.

It marked the beginning of something,

how could you forget it?

It all started with a conversation about your admirer..

別拿尊嚴，挽留不值得的感情

ClassicOfLove - 別拿尊嚴，挽留不值得的感情

Sometimes I think it's better to never ask why

Why Long Distance Relationships Are Hard but So Worth It

I must admit, reading all these posts about long distance relationship
does give me the impression that everything will possibly work out in the end.

They say that you should let go of a person who hurts you, upsets you, constantly affects your mood
but how can I let go, when you are my happiness too?

It wasn't easy. Damn right it's not easy. No words can describe how difficult it is to be this far apart
no one will understand the feeling of it, although they often say they do.

How can I be cruel-hearted to take away his freedom
when he loves it as much as I love him?

He has been busy. I forgot when was the last time we had time for "us"
Busy with events, activities, exams, studies..

He is miles away, too far to know what he is really busy with
"Do you trust me?" Yes, of course, I trust him because I love him

Do I have insecurities? I do, all the time. I can't help it really
One will crave for comfort and companionship when the other half is miles away.

I am always an option, never a priority
Is it because I'm constantly available whenever he needs me?

I tried busying myself to keep my mind off things
but it surprises me how hard it is be busy because I'll always have some free time.

Wanting to be the understanding and supportive girlfriend
I didn't tell him all these thoughts that are bothering and killing me inside.

He doesn't know how much I crave for his companion and comfort
and how much I wished he'd want to spend time with me, even just for a little while.

He said everything is okay, our current situation is just like how we were
back when he was sitting for his A-levels examinations.

But why do I feel that this is not how we are supposed to be
that something is not right with "us"?

I seldom talk to friends about it, because they will always tell me to let go if it hurts
but I no longer be able to decipher what constitutes hurt, pain.

Even so, I'd still willingly let him treat me like this
because it's obvious that I love him more than he loves me.

The balance is tipped
and one side has to pay the price by carrying the burden of the other side.

I'll still willingly do anything to keep this love going
as long as I still have the power and will to do it.

我的愿望，就是希望你的愿望里，也有我。

原來你是我最想留住的幸運

原來我們和愛情曾經靠得那麼近

那為我對抗世界的決定

那陪我淋的雨

一幕幕都是你 一塵不染的真心

與你相遇 好幸運

可我已失去為你淚流滿面的權利

但願在我看不到的天際

你張開了雙翼

遇見你的註定

她會有多幸運

I think I'll miss you forever, like the stars miss the sun in the morning skies

Time difference: 11 hours apart

Distance: 17,037km

Missing those times. Missing him. ❤

Just because

It's been almost two months since I've been in UK.
Life is good, I love everything here,
the weather, the scenery, the people, the lifestyle...
as expected from my favorite country.

I won't say I don't miss Malaysia, or my family and friends,
just that Oxford is keeping me occupied,
which I'm really thankful for.
Time flies when one is occupied.

I'm trying not to overthink, or you could say think about us generally,
it frustrates me that I can't do anything to mend the situation.
I miss you a lot, but what is the point? 
It is all one-sided.

This distance and time difference is really a pain in the ass
It lessens the time available for conversations and makes us more distant.
However, it is also a reason to not text/keep in contact,
blaming it on the distance and time difference is better than blaming on either of us.

Distance also makes me realize my importance.
Always so emotionless and goal-orientated,
we're exactly the same,
we'd do anything for our future,
even if it means giving up time spent with important people.

You're everything I want,
however, I don't think the same can be said for you.
I often question myself, what am I lacking?
Am I not good enough?

I learned to not depend on anyone
because one day, everyone will leave you,
so to save myself from devastation, 
I try to do everything on my own.

I've adopted the idgaf attitude ever since,
It's not really a good habit, I admit
but I can't give it up because it helps,
it blurs reality, and makes everything bearable.

God, it's always gonna be you is it?
My solution to everything and yet my problem at the same time
Can't you see how important you are to me?
Can't you see how much I wished that you care?
All I ask for is your time..